Love Your Body Naked: Fitness Instructor Steph Chu’s Journey to Body Acceptance & Self Love

I want to dive into a topic that impacts every one of us: body image. I’m bringing in one of my favorite workout instructors and fitness babes, Steph Chu with YDY. I manage YDY’s social media, and I fell in love with their workout app, the classes, and the relaxed but motivating space for real, authentic wellness and fitness. And body and self love is what Steph Chu is all about- exploring fitness as someone looking to love themselves, not hate or punish themselves (and she’s been there!

Before we chat more, I wanna put a trigger warning on this post. We are trying to send out the best messages here, but if body image is a hot topic for you right now, feel free to skip or leave what doesn’t serve you. We’ll also be talking a bit about family trauma around body image and eating, negative body talk, and disordered eating patterns during today’s blog post- just so you’re aware.

When it comes to loving our bodies, I think it’s really important to hear people’s stories and listen to where a lot of us have had the same bumps or had our own unique moments. I got so much out of listening to Steph Chu’s story and I hope you do too.

Steph discussed how she grew up in a really food and body confusing household. Eating and gathering for meals were huge parts of family life and social events, but so were relatives grabbing your fat and judging your body. It was common for relatives to wonder why she hadn’t eaten lately, and then snap that she’d gotten too fat or her arms were getting chubby, and it really confused her body image and relationship to food.

Exercise was way more about expectation than fun for Steph. She didn’t wanna become bulky, and was soafraid of being too masculine. The whole goal of any sort of fitness was to be slim, but there were so much mixed messages, she didn’t know what to do. Her body felt so intertwined with everything- her family's opinions, her gym teacher telling her to perform better, society’s opinions of her. It all felt so heavy, and so did she. “I took out all that on myself, and I really didn’t get better until I was 23,” Steph told me.

In college, Steph escaped her current life for Australia- and there she found the same disordered eating patterns, workout obsession, and unhealthy self-loathing. Her college diet was half starving and half odd diets, thinking this would make her healthier or better. She’d done quick weight loss diets before- which made her think she could just starve herself skinny. But then she’d be starving and gain back the weight just by actually eating food. And sometimes she just didn’t have money, so she’d just eat corn flakes once a day.

And I so remember those times too! College just brings out the weirdest and worst eating patterns in us. And it’s not all our body image’s fault either. Sometimes we’re really that broke in college, where a box of Reese’s Puffs gotta last a week or we don’t have food. And it’s such an injustice because we’re learning and growing, but without the quality food we really need for that.

“I really feel like you attract who you are at that moment,” Steph told me. So, she attracted friends who didn’t feel good about themselves and just drank when she started out in Australia. She wanted to stop feeling bad about herself. She’d grab her fat and hate it, she’d stop eating at 5pm and watch cooking shows- “I was totally torturing myself,” she said, “But I never really lost the weight I wanted to, like it wasn’t working even with all the torture.”

She made a new friend group and one invited her to crossfit. Before crossfit, Steph run here and there or try the gym, but the gym felt really intimidating and running never really stuck. So, she tried crossfit and had so, so little strength. But, her coach was super supportive and was like- no, no you can DO this, even as she barely did a push-up.

“This really attracted me because I’d never had someone tell me what I COULD do, only what I couldn’t do. And I was totally obsessed- I admit it,” Steph told me, “I went 7 days a week and was working out constantly.” But even then, her body really hadn’t changed- even after like 2 years of doing this. The scale never went down, only up. It was just such a torture cycle and negative feedback- gained weight, skipped a meal, felt weak, repeat.

And finally, after 2 years of obsessed crossfit and so many more of disordered eating over a number on a scale, “I eventually just threw out my scale, after weighing everyday, because it just didn’t matter to me anymore.”

Her boyfriend at the time made all kinds of back-handed comments about her gaining strength and muscle, even though he kept pushing her into weight lifting. And when they broke up, she remembers being upset, but mostly it just felt like the huge weight off her shoulders. Like she could finally focus just on herself, and no one and nothing else.

So, from there on, at age 25, she chose to focus on herself.

“This process IS a process. No one can tell you what to do or how to think- you have to figure this out and go through this journey by yourself,” Steph told me. Because even as a fitness coach now, she knows that no matter how much people tell you- it’s really up to you to discover the truth in your head and start accepting that love for yourself.

“Fitness became a way to focus and take care of myself as a person and a body. I stopped saying negative things to myself and just said nothing- focus on what feels good, what makes me happy.” And I think there’s so much power in that- not rushing to body positivity, but just putting down the body negativity. Deciding to say nothing, and just do what makes you feel good and want to move your body.

Steph came back to the states at 27, and she absolutely hated it. She was so certain she’d go back to Australia eventually, so everything needed to be temporary. But while in the US, she decided she didn’t want to work in science anymore- so she moved over to working in fitness and got her personal training certification. But, being a personal trainer didn’t really fit her version of what fitness should be about.

All her training clients were women who just wanted a six pack or a big butt and nothing else- and “I just don’t think that’s what fitness is about,” Steph said. Some clients really just wanted her to watch them do sit-ups for a hour so they’d feel like they were building a six-pack, and that just felt really odd to her.

“But I was super introverted so I never thought I’d do fitness classes,” but group classes let her tap into people more aligned with her fitness vision. “In a group class, we know it’s about more than hitting a big crazy goal but it’s just overall health sorta thing,” she told me. And that group environment really let her start her fitness career with a lot more alignment.

Then COVID hit and everything shut down. It took her 4 years to get over being in Australia, but the pandemic really helped that. “I wanted to stay in Australia, but I also wanted to go somewhere else- and I was just ignoring that desire,” she told me. When everything shut down, the gym didn’t do anything to support her, so she started seeing coaches that were helping people build fitness businesses online and it just felt too normal- like giving everyone programs promising six packs in six weeks or a big butt, and it just didn’t feel good to her. Those kinds of programs just seem so predatory to people who are insecure or just impatient, and Steph didn’t want to do something like that.

And it really wasn’t until 28 that she really loved and cared for herself. That’s when her confidence really built and became real. Her mom’s comments stopped bothering her even as they continued, and after all this, I asked her her best advice on setting boundaries about people talking about your body:

“Accept people are gonna trash talk you and they’re gonna say stuff about your body,” Steph started, “Set a boundary within yourself. What comments are YOU gonna accept? Stay strong and know 1000% what you will accept and what you believe to be true. Because even if you tell people to stop, they often really won’t because they don’t get that it's wrong. I’ve had so many fights with my family because they just don’t get it and it just creates more negative energy.” So even in those weird places where we just can’t get people to stop, forming those inner boundaries can help us stay safe from falling back into old body beliefs.

It feels so weird how people feel entitled to talk about your body, and I’ve seen myself how after I’ve lost a lot of weight- people treat me differently. And it’s so noticeable and so sad honestly. Fatphobia is everywhere and it just shouldn’t be. And Steph suffered a similar vibe, “I wasn’t eating healthy years ago, but just because I was skinny- people assumed I was healthy and more beautiful, but bigger people get all this judgment even when they're actively doing all the healthy things.” And we both know that’s so wrong and so not how health actually works or looks like.

“But there’s so many things like BMI or weird tests in gym class that just make people, especially kids, feel terrible and there’s nothing else that matters,” Steph told me. Like she remembers a “fitness test” where you try to get your thumb or fingers around your wrist, and

like, what does that even test? Your bone structure? How many kids walked out of gym class feeling so bad about themselves for absolutely no reason. BMI was based off men’s bodies, and women are so much different, and it just goes on and on about how much of what we learned about fitness and body image growing up was so far off the truth.

And all this confusion really shows up when working with men versus women in fitness. “Men in fitness are much more logical and structured, just tell me what to do and I'll do it. But for women, it's alot more of an emotional journey and involves a lot more feelings,” Steph told me. Woman wanna know, “Why should i keep doing this?” at every turn and really need a stronger emotional, internal reason. Our mindset is our biggest enemy or best friend in our own fitness and wellness journey.

This is what I love so much about Steph, because even on her fitness account- she talks so much more about mindset than just workouts. Mindset is such a big deal. Even if you hit a fitness goal, if the mindset isn’t there- it can still feel like not enough or not real for you.

So, how do you start working on your body image?

“Stop telling yourself what’s wrong with you,” Steph started out. Acceptance is such a big part of getting more positive about your body, so start with stopping the negative talk about how much you hate your body or your health.

Another thing is to accept that no one is perfect. “Don’t see people as perfect because no one is.” And yes, this includes celebrities or models or whoever’s probably edited their photos or their bodies anyway.

Finally, “find something that you love doing and what actually makes you feel good.” Really ask yourself who you are deep down and what brings you joy, because that will really guide you as you learn to love your body again. People don’t always take time to find out who you are as a person, and it hurts their journey- decide to get to know yourself, beyond your body or your job. I hope 2020 helped us realize we’re so much more than our jobs, and so much more than our career. American culture is so much more about job and work and accomplishment, while Australia was a lot more “do what you wanna do” and there was more than just work. So, finding what actually makes you happy and fulfilled beyond just work is so important to growing to love yourself- even if it’s all we’re used to talking about and seeing.

Just like finding what you love in life, fitness is the same thing. Don’t run if you hate running. Why torture yourself? It can be simple like daily walks- you can just do something easy but it's still fitness. It’s still taking care of yourself. You’re doing what you actually wanna do, and it doesn’t have to look a certain way. Learning what makes sense for you is so important to your personal fitness journey- and there’s no one size fits all.

Another tip is do something you actually have time for. Don’t put all that pressure on when you don’t need to. I love my morning hot girl walks because they’re easy, doable, and they make me feel good about my day. What started it for me is I just had a desire to move. And then a year later, I wanted to move more- so I moved onto doing barre because I didn't wanna weight lift. It’s so good to accept that you don't have to do any certain work out and to pick what you enjoy doing.

I also started small and built from there, and that supported me a lot to. It’s so easy in fitness to be so excited when you first start - you’re really excited and do a bunch, and then it peeters off and you just stop. But no, you need to do something sustainable and start really small. And this is so similar to social media- people just put so much pressure and it's not sustainable or good! Don’t just fill up space that doesn’t need to be filled or put so much pressure- have integrity. Just do it. Breathe. Don’t just do something because you think you HAVE to, and that goes for social media AND for working out. Do what feels right for you- and if you’re put out by it, then it won’t put out positive energy.

So with everything, Steph started her “Love Your Body Naked” program, because “We all know what to do, but we don’t know HOW to do it,” she says. We know to eat right and exercise- but how? And how for us specifically? Her program focuses a lot more on your beliefs as opposed to just your fitness, and rewriting what you wanna create for yourself. She invites you to rewrite those internal beliefs- if you feel ugly now, you label that out together and build a new internal belief for yourself.

It’s also about finding fitness and nutrition for you individually. A super clean diet long term just isn’t really sustainable. We should get to enjoy donuts. We both fiercely believe we can enjoy food and have a good life- socially and how it tastes and everything. Food should have a story and be exciting to us, not punishment. We’re not about picking a diet that feels boring af.

You have to make yourself a priority and learn how to take care of yourself. You can be a priority to yourself. We so naturally put our work or others above us and taking care of yourself and prioritizing your needs doesn’t mean you’re being selfish- it actually makes you better for all those other roles.We can feel bad putting ourselves first, especially as women, but it’s so important.

You can check out her program on her social media on Instagram or on her website.

You don’t need to be compelled or forced into this system, this is a program for people who feel like they’re out of options, who’ve tried everything but finally want something to stick and something to really help me see myself well.

In Steph’s words, it’s “for anyone who thinks they’re not where they wanna be and they don’t love themselves- know that you are the main character of your show and you really are worth caring for. You get to be too positive, and give yourself positive energy. We need the positivity, people!”

Listen to the podcast episode this was based on!